Blair Witch (2016)

Review

"The guy who uploaded this video said it was from a tape he found in the Black Hills woods" - James

James has an idea about finding his sister who disappeared in the Blair woods 20 years ago, yes we are talking Heather, James clearly doesn't know how to leave well enough alone. Thankfully his girlfriend Lisa Arlington is aching to be a documentary film maker and is shooting a film about James' whole obsession with his sister. Along for the ride are the regular friends, this time Ashley and Peter, and a butt load of cameras and delivery mechanisms.

James and crew eventually arrive in Burkittsville, formerly known as Blair, where they hook up with Lane, the dude who posted a video he found in the woods online, and Lane's girlfriend Talia. The two locals talk our team into taking them along for the Woods ride as Lane can point out where he found the footage. As this movie has "Blair" in the title naturally means things go weird, decidedly pear shaped, with fatalities resulting as James and team find more than they bargained for. Does the Blair Witch cast a spell over a new audience or were we thinking those woods need a good wood chipper?

Blair Witch arrived in Aussie theatres on a flood of glowing reviews out of the U.S, with a lot of commentators arguing that the movie would change the face of horror forever. I managed to avoid every single trailer going into the movie but was concerned by the bandwagon gaining speed up North. No movie is going to live up to the gushing bollocks pouring out of every quarter, especially when the Quote whores were out in force. Come the day come the dudes, caught this one with Matt in Brisbane, and got to say the movie isn't going to change the face of horror or entertain a whole bunch of people, once again a few too many snouts in the trough folks.

Adam Wingard, who impressed the hell out of me with You're Next, simply doesn't know what he is dealing with when it comes to the whole found footage thing. During the first block of the movie there's more jump scenes than one could expect from a ton of teen horror flicks, and it doesn't work kids, I was simply left waiting on the next jump to go down rather than grooving to WIngard's beat. Equally when things do heat up in the final couple of blocks, Wingard goes with a chaotic style that had members of the audience I watched the movie with confused as to what they were seeing. The first movie in the series might have left a lot of questions in the air, but this one just throws the lot at the screen hoping something will stick. Unfortunately the movie also starts on a real slow burner, following the obligatory shock first scene, which had a lot of people heading out to grab additional snacks or the bathroom. So all in all I really wasn't getting value for money over here, even though the movie does on occasion ramp it up and also hit some chill factor late in the day.

On the writing side scribe Simon Barrett has some strong ideas and expansion on the mythology presented in the original couple of movies going down. All the regular Blair tropes get a run, Coffin rock, Rustin Parr, Elly Kedward, etc so Blair Witch Project alumni will be safe in the knowledge that things aren't being hot paved into a brand new parking lot, while newbies to the franchise get a crash course on the dimension of the broomstick. So far so good, and yes dug the freaky deaky notions Barrett sends my way when it comes time to face the music. Only problem being really that while we get some meat on the bone as to the background there's nothing remotely new going down, and if I had to be honest a couple of ideas that were being developed are dropped and forgotten about by the last block of the film. Barrett has really hit a couple of home runs during his collaboration with Wingard, but for mine it's a swing and a miss with Blair Witch.

Overall the acting is a tad too professional for a found footage movie; no one really comes across as your average citizen being stranded on the shores of hell. This detracts in a big way, if you can see the Actors are acting, then the movie loses the power that the style it is using seeks to work off. And got to say while we have some professional thespians involved, the Academy isn't exactly going to be knocking the door down with nominations.

On the bright side, and yes I've been a tad negative, Wingard navigates around the whole constantly shooting film as the weirdness takes control without gasping for air. Nifty sized cameras behind ears etc., and in a first a cool use of a drone to get some overhead shots that were actually used to advance the plot. Equally there are a few effective ice down your spine moments, even though we know no one is getting out of this one alive. Ever wondered what the Blair witch might look like, while she hasn't aged well and keep in mind a description of her supposed demise at the hands of the Blair townsfolk Lane mentions at one stage, effective CGI creature feature time friends and neighbours. There's also this whole time in flux notion the film makers successfully pull off, including a cool explanation for the footage Lane posts on the interwebs.

The main thing about the movie that is amusing me is U.S websites tying themselves in knots trying to backtrack from grandiose pronouncements on the impact of the movie now that we have had the rather poor cinema results. We're talking sites who have pronounced the death of found footage after every movie released that used the technique, who then almost wet themselves in excitement over Blair Witch, claiming all sorts of nonsensical results for what is end of day a pretty average movie that has its moments. Proving Yanks really don't get irony, one of those same sites is now claiming that the Blair Witch result means an end to found footage! No wonder the dark genre is not taken seriously with Muppets like this about, guess the special needs end of the market has on outlet then. As to whether or not you should go catch the movie, up to you, it's not going to be the end of the world if you give it a miss to be honest. Not much of a recommendation on this one, there are better found footage flicks being released.