Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)

Sex :
Violence :
Director Anthony C. Ferrante
Writers Thunder Levin
Starring Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, Vivica A. Fox, Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Courtney Baxter, Dante Palminteri
Genre Animal Attack
Tagline Shark happens!
Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014)


"Fin, why aren't you having more fun with this?" - April Wexler

Fin Shepard and April Wexler are taking a flight to New York for a speaking and signing engagement for April's book on surviving Sharknados and other natural disasters. Naturally their flight goes through a storm and naturally there are sharks in the air, which attack the plane. Surprisingly Fin, besides being a world class surfer and Sharknado expert, also knows how to fly and land a jet airliner, as you do. Unfortunately for New York a cold front is meeting a warm front, hence tornadoes are likely.

With Sharks in the air and rising waters Fin is suddenly in a race to rescue his extended family, he's become a New Yorker suddenly, and has an improvised plan to throw a home-made bomb into the "sharknado" to, uhmm, stop it somehow. Hold onto your linen kids, the sequel is worse than the original movie with more plot holes than you could drive a Yellow cab through in a month of Sundays. The collapse of the Western world has begun, and I blame that squarely on the Asylum who have somehow fooled the feeble into believing this is decent cinema.

Seriously there are people out there defending this incarnation of the insipid, which kind of goes a long way to explaining Trump's rise to power as President of the United States. This isn't a movie in the so bad it's good category, this is a movie made by people who only have the most minor understanding of their craft. Simply put, it's a movie made to add a few bucks to the Asylum's coffers, nothing more nothing less. I got a subscription to Netflix, yay, which had this boiled week old fish stew good to go; hence I caught a viewing and really wished I hadn't.

There are simply so many plot holes going down in this cinematic travesty that we would need a bigger site in order to list them all. Apparently gaping holes in aircraft suck passengers out to their deaths but have no effect on guns or some designated flight staff for example. I'm kind of hoping Lyz over at aycyas decides to have a go at this one, the results would be pretty amusing. So don't go into this flick expecting anything like internal logic, or any basis in the real physical world, the world of Sharknado exists in some alternate reality only conjured up by second rate hacks like Thunder Levin, who clearly weren't head of class in any of the Sciences or for that matter English. To say this schlock is implausible is merely touching the tip of this particular iceberg of crud.

Of course good actors can sometimes bring out the best in otherwise poor movies, unfortunately Sharknado 2 doesn't exactly have an A list of award winners. Ian Ziering (Fin) lumbers through his role with more ham going down than a German butcher shop, we're talking the sort of delivery that shows all the talent learnt in local theatre, in a support casting. Naturally Tara Reid (April) is back, sans hand this time - mark this kids for future Sharknado reference, and demonstrates her talents do not evolve to any acting ability. Why people keep casting this seeming airhead as above intelligence escapes any notion of sanity. I'm not even going near any Brody action is this one, yes we do have Martin and Ellen, as the makers of Sharknado 2 fail to grasp the simple fact that you really don't want to reference much better movies. Okay if anyone fails to note the reference to a certain big fish Spielberg hooked, then we are going to have to suggest a remedial class.

If you are wondering that just maybe crap acting and a seriously deluded plot are the worse of the cinematic sins on display here then you'll have to re-evaluate, yes guys we are talking the worst CGI yet committed to film! The post filming work here has all the hallmarks of someone's not particularly talented kid brother labouring on a PC that was out of date a decade ago. While saying the sharks weren't anywhere near believable the movie also delivered a surreal "surely you have to be flipping joking" feel to things. Don't expect anything approaching state of the art, the Asylum haven't improved this aspect in their movie making since year zero. Guess they aren't making enough coin to invest in green screen technology or anything remotely modern, though given the general crappiness of their recent film catalogue that's probably a fair enough situation.

At least the pacing of the movie romps along like something approaching decent filming. Right from the first few frames, and Fin's wondering if he's going nuts as he notes sharks in the air around the plane, director Anthony C. Ferrante is keeping things moving at a brisk space. That is pretty much a blessing as you really don't want to dwell on any one scene for more than a few seconds at any time, in that direction is madness, the edge of the World, and monsters.

You know how every would be Critic on the planet was attacking Prometheus (2012) for poor science, and in most cases they were simply highlighting their own ignorance, well ya don't want to think about the science displayed in this hush puppy. Apparently sharks can still roar, there is strangely an attempt at referencing Jaws: The Revenge (1987), are solely focused on biting the heads off victims, and swim in vast numbers just like they don't do in the real world. About every scene in this hodge podge of calamity throws up another face palming moment in the annals of science implausibility.

Don't even get me started on the supposed humour in Sharknado 2, it fell flatter than a pancake at Maccas, and that's without the bonus of fake maple syrup. MacDonalds and The Asylum, creating false hopes of anything above the plastic level of mediocrity, and delivering the least satisfying experience imaginable. The movie didn't have to tell us things were about to jump the shark, we already knew.

Surprisingly Sharknado has built itself into a franchise with four current movies available and a fifth one about ready to lumber into the light of day. Sure there was a deal of excitement when the first movie was announced, some follow up with Sharknado 2, but from there the franchise has seen a steady decline in support. What it does underline is how poor cinema has become over the last decade or so with lowed expectations amongst patrons, that folks should serve as a warning to us all about how low we have allowed things to become. On the bright side of the decline in Western cinema horror is pumping out some more than decent product to lighten the load of us suffering under the yoke of half arsed cash grabs.

Hey got through another Sharknado with zero in the way of damage. The movie was entertaining enough I guess, in a so bad its friggin hopeless fashion, and I guess I wasn't bored at any stage, though this had more to do with a fair amount of incredulous disbelief at how hopeless the whole movie proved to be. You are not going to be missing out if you expunge this poo stain on the cinematic fabric of the universe from your mind, hell wish I could. So hey no recommendation on this one, guess you already knew that, but hey suggest it for that tween chick party you didn't want but your wife thought would be a good idea. I'd throw on some sugary drinks and artificially flavoured snacks, now that should calm things down.

ScaryMinds Rates this movie as ...

  A movie so bad it's terrible