Apparently in the U.S a group of twenty-somethings can rent a mansion, clearly no one else is interested in the manse or the realtor was high at the time. What are twenty-somethings going to get up to in a dark mansion, well clearly drinks, drugs, sex, and hold onto your linen rock and roll. While outside one evening doing drinks around a fire, well one out of four ain’t bad for this group of clearly young Christians, they run out of booze. At least this stops their inane conversation about their relationships, seriously this group has apparently never faced any challengers in their lives, a bit like the writers it appears. They are in a secluded location so there’s no rushing down the local bottlo and hence we have a frantic search of the mansion for a possible cache of drinks. Naturally they come across a locked door with a do not entry thing happening, and naturally since they are all clearly alcoholics they break into the basement below the manse. Clearly the Warrens have been storing their paranormal object overflow here, which includes an ancient looking set of tarot cards, that might be hand painted. The group, that ticks every political correct assembly requirement, demands that Haley reads their fortunes. Now Haley would be your white middle classed chick, so the whole Witchy woman thing rings about as true as a Donald Trump promise, and she points out you shouldn’t use someone else’s cards, which is apparently general knowledge that I for one have never heard of before, but whatever. Naturally Haley gives in to group pressure and starts reading fates. And naturally this pretty much defines how the group are going to die through supernatural means. Can Haley and the survivors work out what is happening, can they avoid their fates, and finally does anyone really care?

Okay we have seen this one time and time again, yet we needed three writers to pretty much re-tread past movies. Our group of friends are generic, have one-word character summation – dickheads isn’t used unfortunately, and no one really cares about their fate, only that it happens sooner rather than later. One major mistake the movie makers make is we don’t care about their characters, hence with no skin in the game we are left to view yet another generic almost slasher as our twenty-somethings are picked off one by one. At stages I was actually checking my watch as you could pretty much pick how things were going to happen.

We do learn about the tarot pack’s past, and how else via a google search for an expert on said pack! If you ever find a tarot deck in an old house, there is apparently an expert on that deck who is a simple search away. Really wish horror makers would dispense with this tactic, it’s worn out by now and has all the appeal of a used condom in a muddy gutter. Having learned about the history of our hand painted purveyors of doom I was even less interested than I was going into this by the numbers flick, seriously something new would at least perked my interest.

What the movie does get right is the creature design, yes it’s all CGI but the supernatural entities matched the beings on the various major cards each victim has dealt to them. Unfortunately, they are kept in darkness for the main part, and judging by one potential victim are easily defeated by someone else’s intrusion, but still cool design folks if not very original.

Actually on the point of tarot card readings, my experience is that the person getting their fortune told needs to pick a card or cards, the dealer doesn’t independently just deal them out. Clearly research wasn’t high on the list of requirements for the writers of this teenage scare flick.

I guess I should talk about the acting from some central casting model agency, besides that one guy who I guess is meant to be the comic relief, but who comes across as being a hanger on with not much going for him. Let’s be totally clear here, no one is enhancing their reputations with the by the numbers performances being given in this pot boiler. True no one looks directly at camera, but equally we are talking bland middle class twenty-something college students we have all seen a zillion times by now. I wish them all well in their future careers in the fast food industry, which clearly means at least one of them will kick on from here.

In terms of horror tactics, we are talking edge of darkness – felt like lightening up the screen at stages, and a whole lot of jump scenes. That would be about that. There’s some deaths, you think you see more than you do a few times, that are by the numbers and to be honest I was really not scared at any stage for characters I wasn’t interested in. Sorry folks, darkness and jump scenes do not a classic make, next movie please.

Don’t get me started on the ending of this one, or the multiple is it over or not false endings, that kind of get boring after the first iteration. We are talking complete bollock explanations leading to yet another false ending! The conclusion to this movie, which is foreshadowed, is trite and had me face palming. Simply a poor ending to a poor movie.

Another teen orientated movie that shows zero respect to the audience, and which doesn’t even attempt something original. We have a girl boss as lead, always a fricking nightmare in the modern age, a cast of disposables, the comic who isn’t in the least funny, and below average scare tactics. No recommendation, another movie to fill out someone’s roster in 2024. Strangely I didn’t need a tarot deck to work out this movie was dreck, one look at the cast of twenty-something victims was enough to point that out. Horror doesn’t work with a PG13 rating folks, you need to play for keeps to really entertain the audience. Tarot is in the running for worse horror movie of the year along with Night Swim.